I had grand intentions of exiting 2017 with weekly blog posts all through the insanity that is the month of December. Just as it dawned I’d not posted since November, and guilt began to creep in, squatting heavy in my mind…I realized…IDGAF about finishing this month “strong”.
If finishing strong means drowning in the self-created mayhem and busyness of the season, sign me up for Team Weak. I’ll wear those team colors proud.
The truth is, while I might be struggling on all fours, crawling to the 2017 finish line, I’m still trying to take in the scenery—soak in the ride. I’m attempting, however poorly, to focus on presence and not presents as this year closes out.
Flexing my muscles, slapping on a smile, and facing the future with strength feels like a lie. I want to wash off my makeup, take off my bra, let out my breath…snuggle in my favorite pjs and share a night of real-talk over a bottle of aged cabernet with the recent past. I want to attentively converse with the here and now.
I’m not ready to meet the future just yet.
And lucky for me, I see there is still some time, hiding. A few weeks tucked into the end of this year—a gift, waiting for me to unwrap it slowly, with patience, and appreciation.
I will not miss the opportunity to enjoy such a rare and meaningful treasure.
So, Merry Christmas to me. Merry Christmas to all my teammates on Team Weak.
Here’s to reveling in these last days of 2017. Here’s to messy houses, imperfect wrapping, late Christmas cards, unfinished projects, and quitting early. Here’s to anything and everything we can claim as good, and here’s to being grateful for it.
I hope you get your opportunity to spend some time looking back, and I hope when you do, you see more good than bad. I pray you see blessings in spite of troubles. And when you are ready to face 2018…I hope you and I DGAF about starting strong. Rather, I pray we care only that we have the opportunity to start at all, and that we have the courage to let go of always trying to be strong, and try instead to be real.
Be real in 2018. I like the sounds of that.
As always, thanks for reading. Merry Christmas. I’ll see you lovelies next year.